What is and Could Have Been
by Waternymph95
Summary: In six hundred years Tauriel has only love one person. Elves and dwarfs were meant to be enemies and yet she found her heart belonging to one, though she'd never say it out loud. She had come so close to having true happiness until an orc drove wooden spike through Kili's heart. Faced with a forever without him will she do the unthinkable to save the one she loves? AU BOFA.
1. Prologue

What is and Could Have Been

Author's note: I don't own The Hobbit. Warning, major spoilers ahead for Battle of Five Armies. I love the Hobbit, and BOFA even though it ripped my heart out and made me cry like a baby. So I decided to write an ending that even though I read the book I had been hoping for. Depending on how this story pans out I may continue writing beyond what I've already planned. I hope you all love reading this as much as I loved writing it, and I hope you review. May the grace of the Valar be with you all.

Prologue

Fever still wracked the small dwarf prince's body and though her medicine had stopped the poison that been coursing in his veins, Tauriel knew it would still be a long time before he was back to his full strength.

"Tauriel?" She heard him call softly for her and she flitted gracefully to his side and pressed a hand to his forehead, even now she could feel his fever going down.

"Lie still." She gazed down at Kili, the rather tall dwarf who broken his way into her carefully guarded heart. The memory of his antics in her king's dungeon, that he could be humorous in such a situation, brought a smile to usually somber face.

"Tauriel?" Kili called out again and he opened his eyes open a crack and Tauriel saw that they were still cloudy from the morgul arrow's black magic.

The poison was gone, she had healed him herself but she knew she wouldn't be completely relieved until his eyes were their bright vibrant brown once again.

As she leaned down Kili's face broke into a smile, but it soon faded and he furrowed his brows. "You cannot be her." He moaned.

Tauriel almost reached out to take ahold of his hand and reassure him that it was really her standing there, but she caught herself from doing so. She was an elf, she was not supposed to act like this toward a dwarf. It wasn't natural. _Then why did it feel so right?_ Tauriel thought.

"You cannot be her." Kili repeated with a voice full of sadness. "She is far away, far far away from me."

_I'm not far away, I'm right beside you_. Tauriel all but screamed in her mind and yet couldn't bring herself to say the words.

Kili turned his face away and gazed outside through a window to the night sky beyond. "She walks in starlight in another world." Kili turned back to her and met her green eyes with his cloudy brown ones. "It was just a dream."

With great effort that seemed to spend all his strength he reached his hand out to her and against her own violation she found her hand moving to meet his halfway. She sucked in a bated breath when their fingertips met and lightly brushed each other.

Kili's eyes traveled from their joined hands and up to her face before he squeezed them shut. "Do you think she could have loved me?"

_Maybe I already do_. But Tauriel told herself she would never say it out loud.

Author's note: I you like please favorite follow, any reviews or comments are welcome. I love hearing from readers.


	2. Chapter 1: It was Real

Author's note: Nope, I don't own this. And here comes the tears as think back to BOFA and write this. I hope you all enjoy and review.

Chapter One: It was Real

Tauriel's blood shot cold with ice as the orc she had been fighting threw her off his back and she landed with a crack on the stone ground. Sharp pain exploded all down her right side, at least two of her ribs were cracked if not broken.

"Tauriel!" Kili's voice jarred her out of the haze the pain had created and her head shot up. The orc had a hold of his throat and had a wooden spike posed over his chest.

Tauriel hadn't known true joy until in her frantic searching she had seen Kili very much alive and fighting bravely atop and stone outcrop on the ruined fortress. But that joy soon turned to despair when the orc had over powered her first, and when Kili intervened, him.

Tauriel tried to heave herself to her feet, she never wanted to do something more before in her six hundred years, but her feet refused to cooperate. She was helpless, helpless to fight, helpless to stop the orc when he drove the spike down into Kili's chest, helpless to ease Kili's pain as he was tossed away like a discarded toy, helpless to defend herself when the orc turned his attention to her.

Kili's eyes met her's and he opened his mouth to say the words that she now wished she hadn't pretended to not understand but he couldn't speak. A single tear escaped his eyes before they closed.

Tauriel then decided she didn't want to defend herself. At least they would have the afterlife. _Did elves and dwarfs even go to the same place when they passed?_ She prayed to the Valar that they wouldn't separate them in death the way life had.

She closed her eyes and waited to feel to blow. She heard the orc's blade whistle through the air but it never connected. Then she heard the smacking of two bodies connecting and she snapped open her eyes to see a blonde blur tackle to orc away. _Legolas!_

They tumbled to the ground and rolled to the edge where they fell to the level below. Tauriel barely noticed, she only had eyes for the dwarf prince laying prone on the other side of the outcrop. Her feet still refused to obey her so she drug her body to his, one excruciating arm length at a time.

When she reached him she reached out and lightly ran her fingertips over his face. "Nin Meleth." Tauriel lowered her head and let out a broken sob. She reached out and carefully lifted his head so it laid in her lap and she placed her hand on his chest in a futile attempt to stave the blood pouring from Kili's wound.

Suddenly Kili's chest heaved with a breath under hand and she nearly screamed with shock that he yet lived. He struggled and finally opened his eyes, they were the bright brown she had fallen in love with. "It was only a dream." When he spoke his words were so faint that if not for Tauriel's elven hearing she wouldn't have heard. "Do you think she could have loved me?"

Tears escaped Tauriel's eyes for the first time in centuries and she smiled sadly down at him. "I do." And she leaned down pressed her lips to his.

Then something ran through her mind, an old magic she had only ever heard about in legend, one that would bind herself to Kili and would sacrifice her immortality. But for her it wasn't even a choice.

She glanced down at Kili and saw his light rapidly fading away, there would only be a few seconds before he was gone forever, and Tauriel didn't want a forever without him in it.

Hugging his body closer she whispered the words that would save him or doom them both. "What grace has given me, let it pass to him, let him be spared. Save him." She felt a piece of her own soul that connected her to all her kin and forbears break away and pass into Kili.

To any mortal watching it would have seemed like nothing had happened. But an elf would have seen Kili's diminishing light suddenly flare to a near blinding brightness while an thin tendril of light connected his light to Tauriel's own announcing to all that he was her's and she was his's.

Immediately the river of blood streaming from Kili's chest slowed to a trickle and stopped altogether. His breathing went from labored gasps to steady lung-fulls of air and his pale skin brightened to near normal color.

Tauriel stared at her work in awe and leaned down to whisper in Kili's ear. "Lasto beth n?n, tolo dan nda ngalad." _Listen to my words, come back to the light_. The screeching of birds caused her to look up and she saw giant eagles soaring overhead. "Kili, the eagles are coming."

So relived she was in this moment that she failed to notice a presence had approached from behind.

"What have you done!" A voice boomed.

Tauriel's eyes flew wide and she whirled around to face Thranduil. Had she saved her love only to lose him the rage of her King?

Fury filled Thranduil's face as he whipped his sword from its scabbard and whirled it down towards the couple on the ground. Until his blade was stopped by his son's.

"What she had to." Legolas had matched his father's strength and halted his blade mere inches from Tauriel's terrified face. "Have you forgotten so much of love that you no longer recognize it?"

The rage in Thranduil faded and he seemed to realize what he had been about to do. He slowly lowered his blade and bowed his head in the shame he felt over nearly killing one of his own people. He had nearly killed Tauriel, she who had been almost like a child to him since her parents been slaughtered by orcs. "Go, take him." He saw that Legolas and Tauriel believed he was ordering them to remove the dwarf from his sight and he was quick to explain. "Thorin doesn't have much time."


	3. Chapter 2: Be Better than I

Author's note: I don't own The Hobbit or any of it characters. Wow, I can't believe how everyone has responded to this story. Your favs, follow and reviews warm my heart. You guys have shown so much support for this story that I've decided to continue writing this story beyond what I'd originally planned. Since this will be uncharted territory I would love to hear any suggestions or ideas any of you might have. Please feel free to leave anything in reviews, or if you want it to remain private message me. May the blessings of the Elves, Men and all free folk be with you.

Chapter Two: Be Better Than I

Legolas helped Tauriel get Kili to his feet. Though able to move his feet was still worlds away from what was happening on the earthly plane. Step by carful step the three made their way down to the frozen river.

Then they saw it. The sight alone was enough to rouse Kili back from the darkness threating to overtake him into sleep.

There, at the very edge of the waterfall lay and bloodied Thorin clinging to his last thread of life, surrounded by his company. Even after all that has happened, Tauriel thought, these brave dwarves and the young halfling still remain loyal to the very end.

Kili stood frozen to the spot and let out a strangled cry of grief. It broke Tauriel's heart that she could do nothing. Then, slowly, he forced his legs to move him forward while Legolas and Tauriel each held onto one of his ams.

The company looked up as the three approached, apprehensive of the two elves but let them pass none the less.

"Uncle." Kili breathed out and he flinched in pain even though Tauriel lowered him as careful as possible to Thorin's side.

"Kili." Thorin gasped for breath and his eyes traveled up to where Dwalin held Fili's already cold body in his arms. "I have failed you, my sister's sons…" he choked and struggled to take another breath, "my sons."

Kili reached out and clasped Thorin's arm, "No, you taught us well, was a family to us when we lost most of ours. It was an honor to draw swords with you this day."

Thorin's eyes widened with pain, whether it was physical or emotional, only he would ever know. "Bilbo, where is Bilbo?" Thorin asked.

"I'm here Thorin." The hobbit knelt down on Thorin's other side.

"I have wronged you. I am sorry. You did not betray me, it was I who betrayed you… all of you" Thorin smiled. He glanced up at all his company, his eyes fading. "All loyal, true friends… Kili."

"I'm here Uncle." Kili squeezed Thorin's hand.

"Kili, be a better King than I." And Thorin son of Thrain breathed his last.

"Uncle!" Kili cried out and grabbed Thorin's shoulders in an attempt to wake him from a sleep he would never wake from. His cries mixed with the soaring calls of the eagles flying high above. "Please, look, the eagles are coming. We're safe." But Thorin didn't stir.

The whole company could hardly fathom what they had lost that day. The line of Durin had nearly been whipped from existence and they had just gotten Thorin back from the gold sickness only to lose him to Azog's blade.

With no idea what to do next the dwarfs knelt, even Legolas and Tauriel knelt in honor or a king who was not theirs. All the while the quite crying of Kili and Bilbo filled the air.

Author's Note: What is your favorite kingdom of Middle Earth and why? Feel free to leave your answers in the review section.


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